One of the best things we did for my daughter who loved horses was to pay for riding lessons. The main instructer was a petite fireball, a normally proportioned adult who will never tip 110 lbs. with enough attitude for any five individuals. She demonstrated complete control of her horses.

Rachael was loathe to hurt the horse or bully it so she was much less  in charge. It really went against her nature to pull on the reigns or signal with heels.

The trainer, ever patient with her young charge, would say, “Watch!” and then trade horses. She’d put it through the paces while sending clear and confident commands through the reigns and with her feet.

The horse straightened right up.

Eventually Rachael could see that none of this hurt the horse or damaged it’s psyche. It was a good lesson.

The same thing happens with most people who take the riegns of something they’ve never commandeered. At first, they’re timid. Seasoned experience takes that all away and the difference is stark.

I got my training today shortly after I revealed to the nurse on the ICU floor that I am genetically inclined toward bad timing and tend to come to visit at exactly the wrong time when the patient is unresponsive.

The surgeon heard me. He came into the room where I had begun to visit ever so briefly with my dad.

“Most people aren’t as mean as I am,” he said. “Watch.”

He put on his big voice and approched the patient and after identifying himself, he grabbed a toe and commanded, “please move that for me,” and the toe wiggled.

“Your sons are here to see you. Can you hear me?”

The patient nodded. Unresponsive was replaced with responsive in that moment and I smiled. But I already knew all this, having had school and other training for Nursing. I had to switch gears and speak to dad as if he were a patient in ICU rather than a patron in a library.

Lesson learned.