Again and again it happens and still I get taken by surprise! Why, I wonder, can’t we be more like machines and just find and permanently keep our groove?

I’ve just come out of a puzzling period of artistic inactivity where nothing of any importance was created despite my continued attention to things artistic and creative.

I swear there is a switch somewhere and it gets flipped on or off. Every year it’s flipped off a few times and at least one of those times are long. This time – four months.

I was going like gang busters and very excited about the pile of future paintings I was trying to keep whittled down by painting a lot. Then, suddenly and with no warning the rug got pulled out and I was utterly on my own. This is not the work one does on one’s own without that enlivening spiritual element. The down time feels like a sentence being served, but it’s probably some normal cycle considering it’s been in the picture as long as I can remember.

While it was in play, I’d go to paint lacking a driving inspiration, no heartfelt approval came from that silenced voice within. That was all replaced by doubt. Doubt that the picture I wanted to do was worthy. Doubt that it was ever going to be appreciated by anyone other than me. Doubt that there wasn’t something better for me to create.

Thrice I thought I was good to go, but the disability remained. Then today the switch came on and I’m back! I don’t know what causes this and I dread when it will return, but there’s no time to fear.

The difference is stark. One wants a life with the light of art inspiration. It shurly stands it’s own space, because other flavors of real inspiration reamained strongly intact during the hiatus.