Patterns repeat themselves so frequently with human behavior that it’s no surprise when the old timers can call the next move of an event they’ve witnessed many times but which is new to it’s participants. This is called wisdom. It’s available for the effort in short packages labled, “experience” and “training”. Even better brands are found under labels such as, “Been Stung” and “Have Inside Information”. But people do get cocky and expect that their conclusions represent something real when often times, they’re off.

 

Each day, the various outlets proclaim their news for general consumption. It’s a mixture of fact, propaganda, conjecture, wishful manipulation, and bald faced lies. It’s for their audience to sort out and they do so passionately.

 

It’s easy for the quick to see what’s actually really happening just by the headlines. Most people acknowledge the correct position that they should adopt on whatever issue the headlines hint at. See their reaction to the following indisputable facts:

A man has taken a girl into a bedroom and against her will and begun strip her. She cries, she screams, she resists but nothing stops his advance. He is bigger, stronger, and determined. Knowing exactly what he wants, he takes it off her until all hope of retaining modesty is destroyed and she helplessly screams as he proceeds.

What should be done to save her? Some savor the vengeance they would inflict on him, including disfigurement and his painful death.

I would ask, “Before or after he’s done changing her diaper? Because that’s all that’s happening.”

 

“Oh, you didn’t tell me that part.”   and yet, the judgement was offered along with the severe punishment just based on some incendiary facts.

 

People do make unwise decisions and it is painful to watch their train wreck as they ignore warnings. This is particularly true in intimate relations. The girl picks an unsavory boyfriend. The boy choses a cute little python of a girl as his next heartbreak. It happens and we wish we could stop it.

In the course of their relationship, outsiders can be completely blind sighted. Sadly, the cute girl could turn out to be a manipulative and vengeful tidbit cut from the most evil cloth. Using her wiles, she may convince those around her that the guy in her coils is actually abusing her and she so needs help containing him. It’s easy to sympathize. It’s not what you know her guy to be like, but she’s so convincing. You take sides.

One wonders how many good men and women have gone to their graves with their reputation trashed by the one who did them in under the justification of “self defense”  when the truth of the situation was quite opposite the narrative that only the living are in a position to control.

It is dangerous to take sides in personal conflict. It’s also dangerous not to take sides when real harm is taking place. There are actually some horrendous stories  playing out one way while being presented the opposite. Lately that’s become the norm in politics.

 

While these examples are dark, they’re too common. When the only evidence you have is a solitary narrative, it’s all the more a gamble to base your opinion on that narrative.

 

This is why we tell our children not to backbite, gossip, or tell tales.

 

Recently, military police surrounded and subdued a family that had just left a military museum. Guns were drawn and handcuffs were applied. They were responding to a call from someone who represented that the family had been involved in vehicle break ins or some such. Maybe the caller really believed that. The caller did not report what they knew, but they did present what they suspected in it’s place as if it really were true. The family had simply been  trying to pick their car out of the many like it in a huge parking lot.

 

I enjoyed the little batch of youtube videos that played up this sort of thing for advertisement purposes.

 

With just the thinnest justifications we sometimes have to finish life’s sentence. But if we do it poorly, we then serve the sentence of guilt when our conclusions are  incorrect and we’ve acted upon them.

 

My point isn’t to cause any to distrust their judgement and take no action. It’s to encourage the follow up that gets past the initial impression to the confirming ones, or the ones that cause us to breath that sigh of relief that we didn’t act when we so much wanted to. Most situations where an immediate reaction is demanded but which are not real emergencies should be suspect.

 

Rather than over react,  I historically disbelieve that the bad conclusion can be true. After a very many incidents, one will come that causes me to stop and mentally replay the others and realize that they all add up to the confirmation of a reality that must be dealt with.

 

Then, I take necessary action.

 

When one makes a very large change in life, there will be some who will discount the wisdom of it from the cocoon of their limited view. They’ll weigh the visible negatives against the lack of positives (because they’re not in possession of all facts) and give their scorn or warning or advice.

 

The less experienced one is, the more quickly and passionately will their great wisdom be offered.

 

To some, odd choices indicate either  mental instability or a bigger picture.

Before you intervene or advise, don’t confuse a diaper change with your imagination.