That’s right, I don’t exist. “I” refers to the entity whose personality is expressed by my art projects.
This belief is dismissed by close friends who point out that they would recognize my work anywhere. It does stand out, they say, and I agree. But for the past several years I’ve been increasingly aware that the defining iteration of my brand and vision has not yet found its way to the surface.
When I search on line for certain imagery, what I seek is not found and I’ve tried every which way with the strangest search criteria so as to shake it out of the pile if it were there, even if by accidental means. It doesn’t show up. Not even close.
That is the evidence that I am not there. Not until I step up to the plate and start speaking this art language that I’ve dabbled in to the point of being conversational. That will have to be enough for now. Eloquence may one day follow.
Once this artistic voice is out there and recognizable, my earlier work will hint of it with obvious markers. Thanks to youtube I’ve found early snippets of music done by a hugely popular band that clearly show the genesis of later work that made them known. Had I heard those older snippets prior to what they subsequently accomplished, I’d have paid no further attention and yet the best of their famous work is very much patterned like those snippets. What spelled the difference and success was the way they were finally brought together.
This weekend it dawned on me that my prayers going back a couple of years may well have been repeatedly answered and I didn’t recognize it. I might not have noticed now, except that the answer has been consistent and recurring through that time. Inspiration is essential to my work and yet I still haven’t mastered that either.
I’ve been directed as to what I must do, but just enough to nudge my course. I assume more will be forthcoming as I make use of what direction I’ve been given. Trails work that way. One doesn’t reach the direction signs by standing still. They show up when one gets going and keeps going. Inspiration is for the moving. It prefers being sought and then enjoyed.
This is more likely than not a duplicate post, except that I hadn’t realized that the thing I’ve got to do was a legitimate authentic offering of direction that I am expected to act upon.
Meanwhile, I’m grateful for the nudge and confirmation and I’m running with it!
Or you can go with the ‘sensitive’ genderless version rather than the way it was delivered to my mind nearly thirty years ago.
